13 Things I Wish I Learned Growing Up

We don’t have an official Hogwarts or Jedi School yet so I did a fun reflection on the things I plan to teach my kids. I believe if we create a solid foundation in these areas, our children will have a reliable compass through life.

These days kids are so busy with extracurriculars and academics. Let’s not forget to plant some of these seeds in between. And parents, these reminders are for us too!

1: Energy moves in circles. What goes around comes back around.

From the planets orbiting to the seasons and the atoms—the circular path is everywhere. Everything is energy and what we put out comes back to us magnified—so choose wisely. We’re all interconnected so it’s important to be responsible with the 4 forms of energy: our thoughts, feelings, actions and words.

My kids will know that life doesn’t punish us but it will give us karma—those experiences we need to grow and in direct relationship to what we put out. And for all the good we share with the world, we can trust that life will reward us in meaningful ways.

2: I’m here to feel all the emotions.

Life is an orchestra and we’re here to experience all the music. Problems start when we don’t like to listen to certain notes. If we don’t let it all the way in then life repeats it until we’ve learned from it. It’s important to be comfortable with all the uncomfortable emotions and have tools to deal with them.

Suppressed emotions are like untapped fuel cells within us. Instead of releasing or letting go, it’s really about giving them unconditional attention. When we do this we integrate them into our being and we reclaim our energy.

I remind my kids it’s okay to feel everything but if we direct harm towards people rather than exploring how it feels inside our body, we can receive that energy right back. Feeling our emotions give us the opportunity to respond rather than react.

3: What people do isn’t personal.

When my daughter asks me why people hurt others or harm the earth, it’s the same answer: They didn’t get enough love so they don’t know how to love others or the earth. And they weren’t shown how to handle big feelings.

My teacher used to say, “They just need more love.” It doesn’t mean you have to be friends but you can at least look at them with understanding and know that it’s actually not about you. In the end, we all want one thing: to be loved for who we really are.

4: Healthy boundaries and the power of saying no.

All those times I gave in to peer pressure! I didn’t have an adult I could speak to that could reassure me that saying an assertive no is a form of self-love.

I’ll teach my kids the strength in saying no and honouring what’s right for them. The more we prioritize our own needs as parents, the more we lead by example.

5: What I think and feel today shapes my reality.

We’re in charge of our own life. Life will give us required learning in the form of situations that trigger us. How we perceive and respond to them rather than the experience itself determines what seeds we sow for the future.

Right now my kids are masters of present moment awareness. But as they grow up and naturally take on more responsibility, it’ll be important to remind them of this. The most important commitment is noticing regularly:

What’s on my heart today? What are the tone of my thoughts?

Noticing is half the battle. Then we can give our feelings full non-judgemental attention and reframe our limiting thoughts into empowering ones.

When in doubt, remember the power of gratitude.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity… It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
- Melodie Beattie (author)

6: The importance of the heart.

There are more signals travelling from the heart to the brain than vice versa. Science has shown that the heart leads us—not our brain. When we develop heart coherence, we experience emotional well-being, better problem solving and a deeper connection to ourselves and others.

We speak of the heart often in our home. Tuning into our heart, other’s hearts, what our heart needs today, etc. The more we practice simple tools to connect with our heart, the better able we can think clearly and lead from a loving place.

My daughter once complained she was feeling her brother’s anger so we did a quick heart coherence technique. About 30 seconds in, her brother ran to her and cuddled. We giggled because we knew he was drawn to the change in her energy.

In a world where most people live in their heads and are numb to their hearts, it’s important to be the change. When we learn to connect with our hearts, we begin to use our powerful minds to create a better world.

7: Principles of abundance.

The world is a mirror. What we place in front of it is what we see. Therefore what we feel we lack or want from others is what we aren’t giving ourselves. And it’s never the physical thing—it’s the felt experience of the thing we want. Can we give that missing experience to ourselves first and then to others? It could be appreciation, acceptance, support, recognition, affection, etc.—all are forms of love.

From this wholeness we can give from overflow without expecting something in return. This is true unconditional giving—most giving is conditional and stems from lack. When we give unconditionally it can feel as good as receiving and it’s energizing rather than depleting. We can trust that life always returns the favour, and it may not happen the moment of the exchange.

8: Principles of happy money.

I never learned or had the discipline to budget, save and give until my late 30’s. I had to understand my relationship with money and unlearn inherited patterns. It seemed like there was never enough money! Then I simplified our finances, started using a budgeting tool and mainly use a debit card. No more paying for it later.

I’ve designed a balanced and fulfilling career and am aware of what I have now. I don’t think we can truly attract abundance until we’re responsible custodians of the money we already have. Now I’m able to give more and invest in myself.

Budgeting 101 for Kids

My kids have 3 jars labelled GIVE, SAVE and SPEND until they’re old enough to move to debit and we’ll keep the same categories. The goal is to put 10% in the give jar and 10% in the save jar and the rest in spend if they wish. They’ll learn to budget in late elementary school.

Giving and Happy Money

The big revelation I had with giving is that it calls in more abundance. Giving is like saying I not only have enough for me, but I have enough to share with you.

Have you realized that money carries the energy of the transaction? If we feel stress giving it away or receive it by doing a job we hate, that will be infused into the flow of money. Try looking at your bank account and noticing what sensation arises in you (I felt my shoulders tighten because I was trying to hold onto it).

The secret is to say thank you every time money comes in and out. So when we pay, we feel gratitude for the experience it’s allowing us to have and gratitude for having money to contribute. We can bless the money by silently whispering “May this money bless you and your loved ones.”

I’ve listed some books at the end that share these principles.

9: Respect and appreciation for nature.

I grew up playing outside, searching for bugs, bike riding and more. I watched my relatives tend to their gardens. The more we make time to be in nature, the more our brain waves recalibrate to earth’s natural resonance, allowing us to feel calm and energized.

Now I have my own kitchen garden and I find that it helps me stay tuned to the natural rhythms of nature. It grounds me and reminds me that everything has a season of growth, harvest and dormancy, including our own lives. We’re not meant to go all the time.

My kids are learning that earth takes care of us by giving us all the food and materials we need to live. If we take care of her, she’ll take care of us.

10: Sustainable minimalism.

When our children grow up appreciating nature, they’re more likely to embrace a way of life that regenerates their environment. I find so much joy in simplicity and minimalism. It’s a way of life that affords me spaciousness in both my schedule and my home, which feels like a sanctuary.

Intentional Purchasing

When we buy things unconsciously, we often buy for 3 reasons:

We aspire to be someone with status that isn’t aligned with who we really are.
We chase that shopping high (endorphin release).
We need to match the “upgrade” of a new possession.

The more in touch we are with our true selves, the more we buy what is authentically us without needing external validation. We can still buy something luxurious or high-quality but need less. Less clutter equals less mental load as we reduce the time and energy to maintain, store, organize, clean, repair and dispose all that we buy. That means more time for what matters.

Doing Our Part for Earth

As a parent, I’m slowly learning about supply chains and environmental impact at my own pace because I know it can be overwhelming. Buying local, choosing high quality when possible, recycling and reducing our use of plastic goes a long way.

I didn’t even know that toothpaste tablets and shampoo bars existed! We’re currently using up our plastic containers to switch over permanently. I love supporting environmentally conscious businesses.

I’ve been planting the seeds of sustainable minimalism with my kids by setting an example to them. We choose experiences over gifts when possible, eco-friendly products, and second hand as the first option.

11: Tools to find and support my unique rhythm and gifts.

Finding systems like Human Design, astrology, the Gene Keys, and oracle cards have been very insightful and add a touch of daily enchantment to my life.

It’s given me more understanding and acceptance of both myself and the unique gifts of others. We’re not meant to be everything. There’s efficiency in mastering what’s already natural and fun for us.

What works for others may not work for me. My path is multi-passionate and non-linear and when I experience variety, I do everything better—and that benefits everyone around me. I’m not meant to stick with 1 thing for the rest of my life which is complete opposite to beliefs I used to have.

Human Design and the Gene Keys have allowed me a glimpse into the individualized ways my children interact with the world and how I can support them.

12: There is power in listening to my intuition.

Intuition is knowing something instinctively without conscious reasoning. It’s also the ability to pick up on non-verbal communication and the heightened use of our senses.

I used to think only special people had it and I second guessed my knowings. The best lessons are the ones where in hindsight I wish I listened to that unexplainable feeling.

I believe that children have this natural ability but it’s not encouraged and adults can be spooked by it. Yup, I was the kid that saw spirit in my bedroom and then subconsciously shut down that gift after it unsettled my parents enough to bless the house by a priest.

We’re All Jedis

Developing intuition—or rather, reclaiming it—can be playful. It’s also efficient and insightful and can save us time by guiding us to the right steps.

I encourage my kids to playfully strengthen their intuition by checking in with their heart, animals, plants, places and the general vibe they sense in others. It can be as simple as saying “hello heart” and waiting for the first thing that pops up in our awareness.

Receiving intuitive messages is like a stone being thrown into a still lake. The quieter we are, the less ripples on the lake, and the easier it is to sense it. We model this through our own ability to create pauses and choose peace.

13: I have the power to heal myself.

I used to experience severe hay fever, eczema and IBS. It’s been a series of trial-and-error of discovering how to heal myself. I’ve learned that our bodies are deeply wise and use symptoms as a messenger to tell us when we’re living off track.

Over the years, I’ve explored many different healing modalities including breath work, energy healing, somatic awareness, belief change work, and more.

As a massage therapist and wellness facilitator, I interacted with thousands of people from all walks of life and got a glimpse of our shared struggles. Most people are completely unaware of their bodies’ messages or know that their stress is contributing but have no practical tools to cope.

Simple is Better

We can see many practitioners and read endless spiritual books but the wisdom will never be embodied until we get better at giving unconditional attention to each trigger and feeling as it happens. And I’ve found conscious connected breath to be the simplest tool to facilitate this which is why I love breath work.

I’ve experienced that simply by focusing on my own journey, I naturally collect practices that I can share with my kids and see what works best for them.

Conclusion

And that’s what I plan to teach my little Jedis! There are many times I’ve fallen short of these because, hey, I’m human! But it’s even more motivation to grow each day and be an example.

In the grand scheme, they’re learning their biggest life lessons from us—not school. That includes how we deal with loss, challenges, emotions, power, money, relationships, creativity, health and more.

The more the foundation is there, the easier it is for them to pursue their passion and learn because they want to—not because they have to.

Is there anything you would add to this list? I’d love to hear!